TRUE REPENTANCE

King Saul’s reign was a whirlwind of bad decisions. He was scared to be king so he hid among the baggage (1 Sam. 10:20-24). He offered a rash vow in the middle of a war to earn God’s favor that directly caused his men to sin by eating raw meat and almost caused the death of his son (1 Sam. 14). He was terrified of his troops scattering so he impatiently offered the sacrifices instead of waiting for Samuel (1 Sam. 13). And this was all within the first 3 years of being anointed king.

Unfortunately, one of the primary characteristics we see in Saul’s life is a fear of man over a fear of God. These decisions led him down a dark path. In the Bible, this climaxed at the battle against King Agag in 1 Samuel 15. God told Saul to destroy everything and everyone and instead, he only destroyed what was bad, let his men keep the good spoils, and kept Agag alive. Samuel shows up and confronts Saul about his disobedience. Saul’s response? “But I did do it right! I did everything your God told me.” Saul warped his reality and didn’t even claim God as his own anymore. When Saul does repent, he rightly admits that his sin was in fearing the people over fearing God. But there’s more. Samuel says he won’t go back with Saul. Saul begs. “I have sinned; yet honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me, that I may bow before the Lord your God.” I think Saul was yet again afraid that he would look worse in front of the people and lose his followers.

In every passage that Saul sins, it seems he acknowledges his sin, but only confesses because he is afraid of the consequences of his actions. He doesn’t truly turn from his sin and he doesn’t seem to be afraid of being out of communion with God. We also see that he never grows beyond this fear of man evidenced in his later treatment of David. Saul confessed the sin to delay consequences, not to have a true heart change and turn from his sinful habits.

Compare Saul’s repentance to David’s repentance in 2 Samuel 11-12. David committed adultery with another man’s wife and had her husband killed to cover up his adultery (which seems so much worse than offering a sacrifice at the wrong time!). Nathan confronts him and David’s repentance can be seen detailed in Psalm 51. David pleads with God to forgive his sins. He confesses that it is only against God he has sinned. He begs to be cleansed to be able to remain in God’s presence. He implores the Lord for a new heart and a right spirit. In humility David is asking God to change him. David then suffers the loss of the child, fighting, civil war, his reputation falls, and he almost loses his kingdom. He has to flee in shame from Jerusalem. He suffered major consequences because of his sin, but we constantly see in his responses that he also accepted them. God seems to have created a new, humble heart in David.

When we repent, do we confess our sins because we don’t want the consequences, or because we want God to blot our sins and create a new heart within us? If you find yourself in a habit of sin, do you quickly admit but never turn from your sin? Or do you allow the Holy Spirit to change your habits? To repent doesn’t just mean to admit a wrong, but to also fully turn from your sin. Saul and David were both sinners. They both repented and they both had consequences for their actions. David is in the hall of faithful Old Testament saints in Hebrews 11 and Saul is not. I don’t know if we will see Saul in heaven, it is for God to judge. But I do know I am responsible for my actions and my hard heart. As terrible as earthly consequences might seem, I need to remember to be like David and repent out of a desire to turn from my sin to the Almighty forgiving God and not fake repentance by stubbornly keeping sin hidden in my heart.

RESOURCE: David Bowden’s “I Have a Confession to Make”

---